Ronnie and Max's Love
by sylverduff
Summary: Max does something he can only pray Ronnie will ever forgive him for. Will their love survive?


(Ronnie's POV)

We walk through the room with his arm around my waist. He looks at me with so much love I can barely handle what I'm doing to him. He asks me if I love him. "Of course I do Maxie." It's almost always my reply but it's the one truth in my tangled web of lies I tell the boy standing beside me. I don't dare call him a man when he depends on me this much. His next question is do I love him more than the drugs?. I say I do but of course I still do them. I'm addicted to him almost as badly. I hate every moment we're apart. But escaping the lure of the drugs is never easy. It's even harder with the life we lead these days. I hate that I lie to him and do them behind his back. But it's an addiction I can't get over.

I go out to a friends house. I know why I'm going before I ever think of it. Max would hate me if he knew I was still doing drugs. I really do wish I could stop for his sake but it's just not possible. I've tried to quit for him so many times. If it wasn't for Max I would never be off of them. There are periods of time I manage to stop for a while but I always go back.

(Max's POV)

I know he still does drugs. I'm not a fucking idiot. I notice when he's gone too long and I notice his behavior when he comes back. I wonder if he even really loves me or if that's a lie too. But when's he's off of them for a while he's so sweet that I'm almost sure he does. I never want to hurt him but he's managing that on his own it seems. I don't want to be seperated from him ever but what choices do I have left. I love him so much and I regret what I'm thinking I have to do.

He just came back and I can tell he's been out doing drugs again. I wish I was good enough for him to quit for me. I don't want it to come to what I'm planning on doing. But my resolve is absolute I must do it for his good. After all isn't doing anything you can to save the person you love the best thing you can do. It might be a sacrifice but for him I'd give anything..just to make him better. If I can keep him that just makes it all the better. Even if I can't then helping the man I love may be the bravest thing I ever do. Although it may also be the one thing that destroys me.

(Ronnie's POV)

I walked out into the hall this morning because Max said he had a surprise for me. The next thing I know I see the cops. I try to run back in because I don't want to risk this. The door is locked and I see Max coming down the hall. He has a look of total terror on his face. It's as if he blames himself for something. That's when I realize he did this. How could he do this to me? We were friends and lovers. Ok so we denied that last part in public but still. They handcuffed me while I was still deep in thought. I struggled a bit before I realized it was useless. I hear him scream I love you as they walk me down the hall. The thought crossing my mind the most as they tore me away from him was why? How could someone so in love with me do this? Did he ever really love me, or did he just want to keep me around long enough for this?

(Max's POV)

I totally abandoned the charade about us being lovers. I was desperate for I knew I was going to miss him with all my heart. Before I knew what I was doing I found myself screaming I love you. I watched his silhouette fading into the distant end of the hall. I know he's figured by now that I planned this but I had to do it. I hate that he's been taken away from me but the drugs would've done that more permantly in the end. At least this way even if he never forgives me, he'll be alive and be able to live his life again. That's all I can ask for. I can't even ask for his forgivness I don't have the guts. I still love him but I'm tired of seeing what the drugs do to him. I know he can be a wonderful person and i want everyone else to see that too. This may be the only way to make that dream come true. I may lose him this way but at least everyone else won't.

(Ronnie's POV)

I've realized one thing the 3 months I've been here. I still love him, I hate what he did but that doesn't change the feelings I have. I've never been able to let go of him. We've never been apart this long and it hurts more everyday. Now I realize i really did love him more than the drugs. If he would've left me because of them I know I would've gave them up but he couldn't do that. He didn't have what it took to put himself through that. He stayed with me despite his hatred of what I was doing. How could 1 person make me feel like this? There has never been anyone more important to me than my own freedom. Yet he was I'd do anything he wanted from now on. Just to keep him from despising me. If I had to earn back his trust and maybe even his love I was willing too. I would endure anything for him, for 1 person, the only person to ever truely own my heart. Sure there were girls here and there. Yes i cared for them somewhat. But no one could make me feel the way he did. Just knowing he was mine had always kept me going. Even when we dated other people I knew I'd still see him. That at the end of the day I was the one that mattered to him. The one he trusted with his secrets. The one he spilled his heart out to no matter what it was that hurt him. Now i wondered if he had fallen for someone else. If someone else owned that caring heart I so overwhelmingly hoped was still mine. After the torture I had put him through I knew I didn't deserve to. If I did then miracles do exsist and one had been wasted on me. I didn't deserve for him to take me back I know that. Yet some part of me still wished that he would. I know that no matter who else comes into my life, no one can replace him. He's my other half, the only person who ever did and ever could truely undertand me, and everything I'd been through. Because he'd been through most of it with me.

July 11th 2011

I saw him walk through the door and thought I was having "that" dream again. But I walked toward the figure of him, that was just inside the doorway shutting my door. Despite the odds that after hundreds of times this one was real. That this time I'd really get what I'd wanted so badly since that day. If he had returned to me, it proved anything was possible. Although even imagining him forgiving me was hard to do. I still hoped and almost prayed this was really him. I was tired of crying myself back to sleep after waking up from these dreams. The metallic click made it seem almost absolute. I took one last step toward him, just waiting to wake up, knowing this couldn't be real. I wrapped my arms around him and felt his warmth and smelt the rugged earthy smell he always carried. I knew this time it was no dream, but that my love had really returned to me. I felt tears start forming in my eyes. Do you forgive me? That was the only thing I could think about, his forgiveness.

(Ronnie's POV)

I lifted his head with my hand to look him in his eyes. I felt I needed to, he had always said my eyes told more truths than my mouth could ever hope to. There was only one word to answer his question, yes, of course I did. I wiped the tears from beneath his eyes and told him the words I'd wanted to while I was away. Maxwell Green I love you. He smiled more brightly than I had ever known him too. I kissed him until we were both out of breath and gasping. He pushed me onto the floor and kissed me again. Max had never been so dominant and demanding. Usually just a few small touches from me had him squirming and whining. Most people would never know that side of him. He always seemed so in control. I asked him what had gotten into him while I was away.

(max's POV)

My answer was simple as it could be. Well, Ronnie, a man can only take so much built up sexual frustration before he snaps. He looked up at me in surprise. "built-up, you mean you never?". Nope I said of course I hadn't, I was loyal to Ronnie even when he didn't want me. I had tried dating a few girls. But everytime it got to that point I wimped out. The thought of touching anyone else was too much. "you mean with no one the whole time?" I merely shook my head an he looked away in shock. Then he got up very quickly and I wondered if something was wrong. Was my faithfulness all this time too much for him to believe? If he didn't I would find a way to convince him. I knew since he had come back that one small detail didn't matter in his mind, but it did to me. I wanted to prove no one could ever replace him.

(Ronnie's POV)

Max I don't know if you'll ever fully forgive me for choosing the drugs over you for so long but…..

I got down on one knee, I had been planning to wait but this made it too much. Maxwell Green I promise to love you forever, will you marry me?. It may not be legal but we can have our own little ceremony. It's the emotion and point behind it that counts, not the legal factor. He looked at me completely in love and simply kissed me in reply. Then he took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I don't tell my business so you'll just have to imagine the rest.


End file.
